Sweet Sixteen – Happy Anniversary to We

The We

16 years, ya’ll.

The 16 years I had to wait to get my driver’s license seemed like FOREVER.

So have the past 16 years.

These last 16 years have FLOWN, ya’ll.

And each has been filled with lots of marriage-type stuffs.

I’m not gonna fluff it up. It’s effort. It’s concerted, mindful effort. And failure.

And there ain’t no auto-pilot, cuz that would kill a marriage for sure.

16 years of marriage probably means I am entering “veteran” status as far as being married goes.

*snort*

The young pups might want to know how I do it. *said with shakiest voice*

How do I live with a man and not kill him?

I’d say it’s 1 part compromise and 2 parts also compromise.

Add kids to the mix, and a girl finds herself in a very-so-much compromising position.

It is not all about me. As hard as I try.

You know that pop-culture popular adage, “I has gots to do what I has gots to do FOR ME”?

Not so much a victory cry when entering the battlefield of marriage… then add nitroglycerin parenthood.

But really, none of life should be lead with that sort of heart and philosophy. If we are doing what we has gots to do for ourselves… um… I fail to see the fulfillment.

All those people who are so busy living for themselves… Leading the culture’s charge… I believe, end up BY themselves, literally, figuratively, whatever… Because love… does it exist in a forest where no one can hear a tree fall?

Wait. I’m confused.

Ummm…

Fulfillment comes from seeing how you add and grow and benefit others… Love is doing/being what you has gots to do/be for someone else – in need or simply because. Because. This is so in marriage, in the parent-child relationship, in friendships…

(And if anyone feels the need to add, “But you need to take care of yourself!”, I will cut you. We all know that, and I am not saying we shouldn’t take care of ourselves either. So, save your breath fingers and save me a jail sentence.)

My husband and I both, have had to sacrifice… compromise for the sake of the other. We’ve both chosen ourselves over the other… Our compromise has had ranges – from heartbreak or simple inconvenience of our own… All, ultimately, for the sake of the big picture.

I am fortunate. The man I chose so many years ago… is not a man who lives for himself. It’s not just me… nor just him…

WE.

———

Love? Is THAT the “big picture”.

I believe it is just a piece of the big picture. Hollywood would say it’s love, but those stories last 90-120 minutes.

BIG PICTURE, not “major motion picture”.

There are no fairy tales, and young ladies… any man that assures a fairy tale life… just beware. He is probably on the mar-y-ja-wana.

I digress…

I run in the winter not because it feels good to run in 29 degree weather… but because the consistent discipline helps create a beautiful life/body/mind for me.

We stick through the highs and lows… and the worst – the mundane… because it is all temporary compared to the big picture.

The big picture. Life. Family. Love.

And we saw Cake and The Black Keys and stayed at the Alexis Hotel for our Sweet Sixteen.

cake

This is Cake.

!!!!!

The Black Keys

The Black Keys!

!!!!!

So, like… CAKE and THE BLACK KEYS??? And a strong guy to keep me from getting mushed to death??? Yeah, TOTALLY worth 16 years of compromise *wink*

********

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9 Responses to “Sweet Sixteen – Happy Anniversary to We”

  1. Chantelle says:

    The “tree in the forest where no one hears” part had me snorting up a bit of my morning coffee. 🙂 You’re such a delight. (But I miss your videos!! How about a ‘one a day challenge’ or something?) 😉

  2. Ah! Happy 16th! My husband and I reached 16 years of marriage in October, and I agree. Sixteen years with someone absolutely can fly by. Doesn’t seem like I’ve hit hit the five year mark some days yet!

  3. sara says:

    Happy Anniversary to my FAVORITE couple! I remember when you got married, i only knew you through your in-laws, but i even loved you both then!

    Darren and i hope to achieve the same level of marital status as you two.
    *that is if we are really married……….Paulie, are we……legally married? LOL!!!
    (i always like to end it on a “me” note. so i’d better go!) =)

    Happy day of we!
    love you guys!

  4. Andrea says:

    So sweet! Well written sister!!! Happy Days! 🙂

  5. Carissa says:

    Yay!!! Go girl! I’m on year 16 too… been a wild ride and I wouldn’t change it! 🙂 congrats!

  6. wendy hagen says:

    Way to go girl! And boy!

  7. The Husband says:

    Yes my love. You finally got Cake, and I believe Cake by the row… although in a mosh pit, it’s really hard to tell where the rows are.

    Sara, you are not really married. I faked the whole ceremony.

  8. Anke says:

    Congrats!!! You really are a veteran in today’s society of short-lived partnerships – good for you!
    I already failed once and am trying my hardest to make this one work!! And you are so right: it is hard work, but SO worth it! 🙂

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