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Homophones: Your Doin' It Wrong

Did you catch that? Huh? Did ya? How about this one:

Your doin' it wrong.Found this on a friend’s Facebook wall. She’s an English teacher. She’s so sexy.

Eye I am not going to claim I am flawless when it comes two too to appropriately using words that sound the same (but are spelled differently/have different meanings)… But I will go so far as two too to say, if I due do it wrong its it’s an error do due to typing two to too fast as opposed to me knot not knowing they’re there their proper homophone-age.

And may I add… I don’t care how attractive a person is, a chronic homophone-offender actually loses attractiveness.

I think science has proven that. And Facebook. And texting.

Oy.

Hitherhencetofore, I work really hard on proper homophonagessesei. I need all the help eye I can get. Herefollows Jenny On the Spot’s short guidebook for better homophone usage:

Your – possessive… for the other/another person. Your (I am pointing to you) purse. Your blog.

You’re – You are. Instead of writing YOU ARE, one would write YOU’RE. As easy as making pudding, folks. You + apostrophe + are = you’re. Pour + stir = pudding.

Their – Like your, but a group of people. Think of the i as a little person in that word. It’s a word used to talk about a group of people

They’re – They. Are. Again, easy as making pudding for a group.

There – a PLACE. Their (“i”) has to do with people… THERE has no “i” … hither hencetofore – no people… unless you are referring to people being “over THERE”.

To – that’s the one we use most… and we shouldn’t use it at the end of sentences but I am going to.

Too – this guy has an extra O… so think “in addition” or “more”… since it has that extra letter. If one wanted a bowl of pudding also… one would write, “I want one TOO!” One would not write, “I want one to.” Don’t do that. DON’T. Besides, that second sentence is a fragment and I would get angry with you because that sentence makes me feel like you are leading me on and I would be all, “You want one to… WHAT? TO WHAT?! To EAT. To SLAY? To PLAY WITH?” Don’t leave people hanging.

Two – That’s the number. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. 2. Two. “I would like TWO bowls of pudding, please.” If you want to bowls of pudding, I will scoop pudding in your hair.

See how homophone abuse is unattractive?!!!

Thank you for baring bearing with me hear here.

I hope your you’re knot not to two too upset with me four for going to their they’re there.

*Disclaimer… I taught history back in the ancient days, not grammar. But I could have gone either weigh way… Just know I am not a professional, but I sometimes get all hissy about stuff I am not really qualified to get hissy over… because I Cannes can.

*Update… my friend Anke suggested this video in her comment, and it was so PERFECT I had to come add it and make sure ya’ll see it. Gosh, I have the sexiest friends.

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18 Responses to “Homophones: Your Doin' It Wrong”

  1. Anke says:

    Hey Jenny – great examples! 🙂
    You may also like this: http://a-z-translations.blogspot.com/2011/02/homophones-la-veggietales.html

    Keep it up and stay sane! 🙂

  2. Becky says:

    I only have one hissy-causing vocabulary mis-use. Concrete and Cement. I know, my engineering geek is showing, but Cement + Rocks = Concrete. Kay? That’s my PSA for today. Didn’t think you were gonna *learn* something today, didja?

  3. Jenny Ingram says:

    Oh that’s a hard one. I feel for you, sister. It is so *shuddery* and *cringy*!

    Here is where I struggle, and you address it here – when to use who vs. whom. I DO NOT get it. Not one bit.

    I guess we all have our grammatical cryptonite 🙂 And I don’t know how to spell cryptonite.

  4. Lynn says:

    This one isn’t really a homophone but it bugs me nonetheless. Some people say that they “should of” done something but didn’t. They need to either say “should have” or “should’ve”. The reason they type “of” is that’s what “should’ve” sounds like when you say it, and they’re just spelling it phonetically.

    Here’s another big one: affect and effect. These are similar in meaning and often (incorrectly) used interchangeably. But they don’t mean the same thing. My aunt was affected by cancer. The effect the cancer had was that she died. (I don’t have an aunt with cancer. That was just an example.)

    And this one made me laugh when I read it on someone’s blog the other day: I was “udderly” speechless. I almost fell out of my chair. What is she… a cow? Utterly!

    And don’t forget the EVER popular its and it’s. The half-educated are aware that possessives require an apostrophe and will type stuff like this: “The glue lost it’s stickiness.” But “it’s” is ALWAYS a contraction of “it is”. ALWAYS!!!!! This particular possessive does not use an apostrophe. I would have to say that the difference between “its” and “it’s” is my biggest pet peeve!

  5. BOSSY says:

    Thes is 2 mutch. Tanxs.

  6. This is fabulous! I no…..I mean I know 🙂 that it drives me crazy when I see this happen. Teens are the worst. Especially with the There, Their, They’re . The Elementary teacher in me is SCREAMING. But….I also know that I have done this on occasion…..but I work really hard not to. Crap. I just ended that sentence with ‘to’……see what I’m sayin’ 😉

  7. Shondra says:

    Thanks for this.

    If I cross paths with a blog for the very first time and they consistently use the incorrect word, it’s a big turn-off for me. I likely will not subscribe to the blog.

    I thought it was just because I’m a snotty English major.

    🙂

  8. Liz says:

    First time to your blog and I sure picked the right day. I’ve been wanting to vent about this for years!!

    I don’t think this falls under the category of homophones, but I have a huge problem when people, and by people I mean my sister-in-law, mispronounce words. Most dreaded? Supposebly, instead of supposedly. It makes me cringe even more seeing it in print. She says it incorrectly EVERY time! It drives me bananas, but I never correct her. I worry I’ll come off looking too pretentious.

    Gold star for me for using *too* correctly, right?

  9. Michelle W says:

    Oh THANK YOU for writing that. That is one of my biggest pet peeves!!!
    It makes me want to get out my virtual red pen and start marking people incorrect.
    Two to tooo Much!

  10. Jenny – oh how I love you! These grammar mistakes drive me absolutely batty!! Thank you thank you!

  11. Oh, I am so with you. Do you want to join me in my quest to have spellcheck added to Facebook?

    ‘Cause, seriously.

  12. Katie says:

    For all you grammar judgers out there, I have a confession. Last week I wrote an email to about, oh…90 PEOPLE who are now all waiting for a photo of me in a SINK with my calendar. Yes, I am certified to teach English to grades 4-12, but honestly, most days I think humor is way more important than perfection, and you have (or should I say half) to admit, it was stinkin’ funny.

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