The Tooth Fairy

by | Nov 10, 2007 | Olivia, Parenting/Family | 3 comments

The Tooth Fairy ran 11 miles yesterday. So, the Tooth Fairy was very tired come nightfall.

The co-Tooth Fairy was out of town for the night, so the Tooth Fairy could not call for “back-up”.

Since it was a First Tooth, the fairy could not disappoint the very excited Olivia. Did I mention the Tooth Fairy ran 11 miles – seemingly all uphill – and she was V to the E R Y tired?

Go to sleep children.



Sleep deeply… ALL of the children must be asleep or this cruel game of deception will end. You are getting sleepy, verrrrrry sleepy…

Maybe I should have spiked their milk with Benadryl…

The fairy struggles to keep her eyelids afloat. The delay drives her to eat a container of Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch.


Only B & J could keep the fairy awake. Consequently, what took 1 hour and 47 minutes to burn earlier that morning – took 20 minutes to utterly, shamefully, and indulgently undo.

At last… The children are OUT.

And the fairy moves in, like a Stealth Bomber only with a 1-Spot to drop.

The fairy is a very big spender.

The f swaps the bloodstained, tiniest tooth ever, for a crisp dollar bill. She then creeps up the stairs, enters her chamber of sleep, throws her hands up in a V for Victory (she was a cheerleader in her youth, you know), tucks away the First Tooth, strips off her fairy wings, and falls fast, fast asleep.

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