The Tooth Fairy ran 11 miles yesterday. So, the Tooth Fairy was very tired come nightfall.
The co-Tooth Fairy was out of town for the night, so the Tooth Fairy could not call for “back-up”.
Since it was a First Tooth, the fairy could not disappoint the very excited Olivia. Did I mention the Tooth Fairy ran 11 miles – seemingly all uphill – and she was V to the E R Y tired?
Go to sleep children.
SOON.
PLEASE.
Sleep deeply… ALL of the children must be asleep or this cruel game of deception will end. You are getting sleepy, verrrrrry sleepy…
Maybe I should have spiked their milk with Benadryl…
The fairy struggles to keep her eyelids afloat. The delay drives her to eat a container of Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch.
Drats.
Only B & J could keep the fairy awake. Consequently, what took 1 hour and 47 minutes to burn earlier that morning – took 20 minutes to utterly, shamefully, and indulgently undo.
At last… The children are OUT.
And the fairy moves in, like a Stealth Bomber only with a 1-Spot to drop.
The fairy is a very big spender.
The f swaps the bloodstained, tiniest tooth ever, for a crisp dollar bill. She then creeps up the stairs, enters her chamber of sleep, throws her hands up in a V for Victory (she was a cheerleader in her youth, you know), tucks away the First Tooth, strips off her fairy wings, and falls fast, fast asleep.
