I Confess: The Funk

by | Feb 3, 2011 | Not So Much | 19 comments

I struggle.

I feel ungrateful for feeling this way.



Life is good.




And I am tired.


I don’t know what to throw off.


Decisions paralyze me.

Some days I just go hour by hour.

Some probably think I am a flake.

But in reality… I am paralyzed.

Literally… I can NOT commit/decide/reply/do.

I feel like I have dug a hole and if I reach to climb out, the dirt will bury me.

So I don’t move.

So as not to disturb my dirt walls.

I have never been good at digging holes.

Or climbing.

Me, me, me.

Exhausting, no?

I know I am not the busiest. The tiredest. The confuse-idest.


But I feel.

I laugh. Hard.

Big ups… and apparently… BIG downs.

As I write, my chest hurts.

I want to cry.

I just want to take a bath.

To watch a movie.

To go to bed.

Pay bills.

Be out of debt.

To not set my alarm.

To have time for a run.

To have time to rest.

To play Candy Land with Lucy… even though I HATE Candy Land.


To be.

I hate writing this.

It feels complainer-y.

Wah. Wah. Wah.


This is all I have.

I write this not for comfort.

But a purge.

Part of the process?

I hope.

I hope it’s a quick one. I think the walls are caving in.


Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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