Drama: The Unfortunate Circumstance of Eyeliner and Being 5
I may have mentioned before that my children are…
Dare I say…
Yeah. I guess they are.
Though my son wants to be a professional parkour teacher when he grows up… and my 8 year old daughter wants to be a kindergarten teacher… my 5 year old, Lucy… wants to be a princess.
The girl really thinks they are for real.
I suppose Kate had better watch her back.
Lucy is also convinced that Santa will be bringing her a REAL wand so she can change herself into a REAL princess.
So. Drama. As sure as the sun rises…
And really… it was my fault. It was my poor judgment. My own foolishness.
You see, all 3 kids are in a play – Oliver!
This means I have to put foundation, eyeliner and mascara on 3 children for each performance.
Because eyeliner + children = KILLMENOW
Le other day, whilst applying eyeliner to Lucy (5) for the 4th time in as many days… as captured here:
Where was I?
Lucy started foaming at the mouth started hyperventilating really tried to employ eyeliner-applicatory measures appropriate for a very weary 5 year old acTRESS.
But her equally weary, more “experienced” in the art of eye-lining, mother… Huffed. She may have even stomped…
LUCY. !!! STOP. BEING. SO. DRAMATIC! !!!
My heart stopped…
My head raced — for the love of the perfectly applied foundation and 1/2 of one eye lined!!!
Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. Mommy’s sorry. You can’t… Just don’t…
It only got worse.
For the both of us.
And only one of us was on our period.
The show must go on, and we had another to prepare for… Saddle up, folks. It was make-up time again.
*looks for way out*
As Lucy tipped her head back aaaaand rolled back her eyes aaaaand opened her mouth (you know – the “mascara mouth”) she said, “I’m gonna be alright for this this time Mom… I will be good for this.”
I suck. Who do I turn in my Mom Card to?
- Give diapers and get a chance to win up to $250 in your choice of 3 prizes!
- eBay + me = $100 giveaway (and my own video with Samantha Bee!)
- Coffee Camp was WAY better than band camp, though I was never in band…
Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…
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