Drama: The Unfortunate Circumstance of Eyeliner and Being 5

I may have mentioned before that my children are…

Dare I say…

Theatre kids.

Yeah. I guess they are.

Though my son wants to be a professional parkour teacher when he grows up… and my 8 year old daughter wants to be a kindergarten teacher…  my 5 year old, Lucy… wants to be a princess.

The girl really thinks they are for real.

I suppose Kate had better watch her back.

Lucy is also convinced that Santa will be bringing her a REAL wand so she can change herself into a REAL princess.


So. Drama. As sure as the sun rises…

And really… it was my fault. It was my poor judgment. My own foolishness.

You see, all 3 kids are in a play – Oliver!

This means I have to put foundation, eyeliner and mascara on 3 children for each performance.

Because eyeliner + children = KILLMENOW

Le other day, whilst applying eyeliner to Lucy (5) for the 4th time in as many days… as captured here:

eyeliner and drama

Scream much?

Where was I?


Lucy started foaming at the mouth started hyperventilating really tried to employ eyeliner-applicatory measures appropriate for a very weary 5 year old acTRESS.

But her equally weary, more “experienced” in the art of eye-lining, mother… Huffed. She may have even stomped…


In 3…




My heart stopped…

My head raced — for the love of the perfectly applied foundation and 1/2 of one eye lined!!!


Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. Mommy’s sorry. You can’t… Just don’t…

It only got worse.

For the both of us.

And only one of us was on our period.

The guilt!

Bad mom.

Bad mom.

The show must go on, and we had another to prepare for… Saddle up, folks. It was make-up time again.

*looks for way out*

As Lucy tipped her head back aaaaand rolled back her eyes aaaaand opened her mouth (you know – the “mascara mouth”) she said, “I’m gonna be alright for this this time Mom… I will be good for this.”

I suck. Who do I turn in my Mom Card to?



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8 Responses to “Drama: The Unfortunate Circumstance of Eyeliner and Being 5”

  1. Jenny, that is a very disturbing picture of poor Lucy.

    Don’t go turning in your mom card just yet. Just tell her there is only ONE drama queen in your house!

    Oh, and Maddie wants to be a princess and marry a prince. I’m letting her dream.

  2. Heather says:

    Your blog makes me laugh out loud everytime I read it! 🙂 My daughter attended OLIVER! with her class last week and was enraptured with it! Her teacher called to tell me she didn’t think she blinked through the entire performance. 🙂 I was considering getting her involved in theater, but I’m reconsidering after the eyeliner post! HA! I, too, have a mini-me drama queen.

    You live, you learn, and no one ever takes your mommy card away. 🙂

  3. Kimberly says:

    HAHA! So sorry about the drama of applying makeup, but I’m impressed you tried.

  4. Sheila says:

    My mom fail was: “Oh (insert name here of young, tender hearted child here), save the drama for the stage!” And don’t forget to use ‘that’ voice. You know the one that sounds really mean and you’d never, ever use on an adult….ya that one.

    Yay. That went over really well.

    We decided until Mommy can grow up, we’ll not be doing any plays, because she just can’t handle it maturely enough.

    So you see, you’re doing fine. Letting your kids grow and blossom.

    I think parkour is the best thing ever. Teaching is equal to nothing else. Being a princess is a goal each one of us should strive for to some degree…the combination of these three will, with no doubts, make this world a much better place to live.

  5. Karen says:

    Too funny! You did not fail! You are just being a real mom and brave enough to put it out there to make all of us feel more normal! Besides look at it this way… you gave Lucy an opportunity to re-evaluate her behavioral choices! She wants to be in the play right? Well that requires make-up. Life lesson opportunity here… sometimes ya gotta put up with stuff you don’t like on the road to reaching your dreams! Hmmm….. kinda like motherhood! Love you Jenny-girl! You are doing a great job supporting your kids in the play! Cut yourself a lot of slack and enjoy the ride!

  6. Certainly, applying eyeliner to a five-year-old child (not to mention your other kids) MUST go above and beyond the normal business requirements of motherhood, doesn’t it? I give you a solid B-!

  7. […] Drama: The Unfortunate Circumstance of Eyeliner and Being 5 […]

  8. meg duerksen says:

    this is awesome.
    and so normal.

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