Dear Tooth Fairy: I Have Been Waiting a Very Long Time

I am thinking I may have enough material to make this a regular feature. *sigh* 

Dear Tooth Fairy, I have been waiting a very long time.

Here’s the skinny. My 6 year old daughter, Olivia lost a tooth last Saturday. As of last night (Thursday), the Tooth Fairy still hadn’t paid up. I explained her absence,

Oh… I guess there have been LOTS of kids losing their teeth these last few days. Poor Tooth Fairy, she must be sooooooo busy…

My children already know that the Tooth Fairy only has wings and no sled (like Santa)… so that fact alone helps them accept the fact she can’t get everywhere in ONE night. But 5 nights… a little girl can start feeling dissed! 

On Tuesday evening, Olivia had to go to urgent care to have an abcess drained. Ick. When the Tooth Fairy forgot that night (as well as the following night) I told her the Tooth Fairy was worried about hurting her arm. Could I go to Hell for this level of lying? I think this might buy me a ticket to Pit of Fire.

My daughter, being the problem solver that she is made a suggestion:

Can I leave it at my bedroom door?

And that is what she did. She left her tooth at the door of her room, just outside in the hall. She did not just leave her tooth, she also left this note:


Our Tooth Fairy SUCKS.

You want to know something HORRIBLE… She almost forgot again!!!

(I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and somehow remembered. I popped up and said to my husband, “WEREYOUTHETOOTHFAIRYLASTNIGHT??? BECAUSEIWASNTTHETOOTHFAIRYLASTNIGHT!!!” )

We should go to a class… say, “Parenting 101: Sustaining the Myth(s)/Sustaining Your Child’s Self-Value”.

I hopped out of bed like it was on fire. I scurried to my wallet and was SO relieved I had a 5 dollar bill, cuz, yeah – she earned a 5 spot! I was able to jot a note saying, “Thank you for your patience. You are a good girl, Olivia. I am sorry I took so long.”

I am so ashamed. And also relieved. Also, this is not the first time we’ve had issues with the Tooth Fairy.


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17 Responses to “Dear Tooth Fairy: I Have Been Waiting a Very Long Time”

  1. jennielynn says:

    Dude, my Tooth Fairy is a total slacker too! We should fire that beeahtch. Think of the fiver as interest acrued. Once, DQ got a five dollar bill, a Barbie and a card, apologizing for the delay and praising her dental hygiene. Parental guilt can be highly profitable! (Sixteen Candles)

  2. This is great! I had this happen to me with my ten year old daughter recently… I should have blogged about it.

    My solution, when she came to me and said “The Tooth Fairy forgot me again,” I said, “Are you sure?” “Go back and check” while she was in her room looking – I was scrounging to find a dollar and then stuffed it in to her pillow case (that was in my room) and said – “Hey your pillow is in my bed… check the case?” She did. And none the wiser… yeah right… she knows but still we have fun with it!

  3. Kathleen says:

    Way to be quick on the draw in the wee hours of the morning. I bet Olivia was thrilled…teaching her that some things are worth the wait.

  4. See, this is why I’m just going to tell Hailey that the tooth fairy did a direct deposit into our bank. Much easier. Plus, the tooth fairy is all progressive and high-tech these days.

  5. We have tooth fairy failure all the time….I’m sure the fiver made up for it though! My best tooth fairy tip….glitter….your fave! I sprinkle glitter all over the bed and the head of my babes. They have little sparkles all over their faces and hair at school and just love it…..it makes up for the lazy, good-for-nothing fairy that always ends up coming by a week too late.

  6. D... says:

    You are not alone with this tooth fairy business. I promise. Glad she did get a visit in tho. Mine are STILL waiting. Hee!

  7. Lizulfisa says:

    Ok.. I’m reading this and am all like… deja freakin vu! Didn’t you do this to her when she broke her wrist? Um… yeah. So funny Jenny. I too glitterify my kids beds. So fun. Great fail.

  8. Maggie says:

    Oh no… good thing you woke up in time!! I have SO been there. Man, that would have been BAAAADDDD if you would’ve stubbed your pinky toe on the way into her bedroom and woke her up with your dry heaves!! LOL

  9. Nanette says:

    That is heart-wrenchingly cute.

    And my daughter is only 4 months old but I already worry about waking her up while trying to be the stealth tooth fairy when the time comes.

  10. The Tooth Fairy got a sternly written warning placed in her (ahem…on this particular day, though it was HIS) personnel file last week. I’d fire her (him) but she (he) is the only one who typically has cash when the job needs done!

  11. Leah says:

    That note is adorable. Our tooth fairy once flaked due to having gotten too intoxicated to remember on the night she was expected. Nice. She must have felt pretty guilty, though, because she too left a $5 bill the following night, though I heard she almost forgot again. Our tooth fairy is a mess.

  12. Tasia says:

    So what I am seeing here is a pattern of guilt with the Tooth Fairy. A very profitable pattern for those who are doing the waiting!

    Tooth Fairy is late = $5 (or more!)

    Do they learn this in Tooth Fairy School? ‘Cus mine did the same thing, too… LOL!

  13. jubilee says:

    The Tooth Fairy missed her visits to my son a coupla nights in a row and boy was she in trouble! She also felt terribly guilty because at the time she was watching LOST and eating popcorn while the boy slept.

    Pssst! You.Are.Not.Alone. BG

  14. Anonymous says:

    Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…

  15. Melissa says:

    I’m not a mom but the amount of things you are expected to remember amazes me! I can’t believe my mom got it right all those years!

    The tooth fairy didn’t have the same handwriting as you, did she? 🙂

  16. […] failed BIG back in Feb ’09. After 5 days of waiting, Olivia decided to leave a […]

  17. […] can read all about that shameful period of my motherhood here, here, AND ALSO HERE. These are just few of probably dozen times our Tooth Fairy proved what a […]

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