A paternity test?
I’ve been feeling not-normal-ish lately.
Some not-normal-ish has been reminiscent of times when I have had a bun in the oven ifyaknowwhatimean.
A physical manifestation or two… An intense craving for pickled things.
Seriously. I nearly tore my pantry apart looking for pickles or pickled jalepenos… I even pulled out vinegar (but put it back) becuase I just needed *something*.
I would say that it is. I have never been known for my pickle consumption.
I am an Oreo and coffee kind of gal.
Here’s the thing… I shouldn’t be concerned about being pregnant. You see, the huz visited Dr. Snip…
and it took.
*does scissor hand-thing*
So, given all that history, as I’ve been expressing my concern to my huz — he inisits it would be imposssible.
I said, “I have heard stories. These things happen.”
He said, “Well, if you are, then I’m going to have to demand a paternity test.”
As I accounted for my time in my head, all I could see was the glow of my computer…
I was all, “Yeah. It’d come back that my computer was the father.”
Seriously, I have been spending so much time on le computer, it could almost be my parasitic twin.
Oooooor the father of the child I am most likely not pregnant with.
I guess at this point I should tell you that at this point I don’t think I am pregnant.
But I’m not ruling anything out.
THESE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED, RIGHT?
Bodies are weird. Minds are weird. I should know for sure in a few days. But I had to check my
cycle schedule with the huz. He keeps track for me him. Poor guy. I really am a bit of a train wreck… even without being pregnant with a computer.
Clearly, I am exhausted.
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