A paternity test?

by | May 28, 2011 | The Hubs | 19 comments

I’ve been feeling not-normal-ish lately.

Some not-normal-ish has been reminiscent of times when I have had a bun in the oven ifyaknowwhatimean.

A physical manifestation or two… An intense craving for pickled things.

Seriously. I nearly tore my pantry apart looking for pickles or pickled jalepenos… I even pulled out vinegar (but put it back) becuase I just needed *something*.


I would say that it is. I have never been known for my pickle consumption.

I am an Oreo and coffee kind of gal.

Here’s the thing… I shouldn’t be concerned about being pregnant. You see, the huz visited Dr. Snip…

and it took.

Dr. Snip.

*does scissor hand-thing*

So, given all that history, as I’ve been expressing my concern to my huz — he inisits it would be imposssible.


I said, “I have heard stories. These things happen.”

He said, “Well, if you are, then I’m going to have to demand a paternity test.”

As I accounted for my time in my head, all I could see was the glow of my computer…

I was all, “Yeah. It’d come back that my computer was the father.”

Seriously, I have been spending so much time on le computer, it could almost be my parasitic twin.

Oooooor the father of the child I am most likely not pregnant with.

I guess at this point I should tell you that at this point I don’t think I am pregnant.

But I’m not ruling anything out.


Bodies are weird. Minds are weird. I should know for sure in a few days. But I had to check my cycle schedule with the huz. He keeps track for me him. Poor guy. I really am a bit of a train wreck… even without being pregnant with a computer.

Clearly, I am exhausted.

My amends.


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