The Down and Dirty: Blogging, Motherhood and Throw Me A Rope

So.

I woke up this morning needing to have *something* posted for *something* at 9 a.m.

At 7 a.m. I figure there is plenty of time before 9.

Right?

I quickly found out that the back end of my site was running at a snail’s pace. Because snails are fun. Picture loading and linking should take the touch of a button, but was it taking upwards of 4 minutes.

Who has FOUR MINUTES? *looks around for 4 minutes* Hithernhencetofore — I ended up at Starbucks to seep off their wi-fi, hoping it was an issue with our home network.

Note: There is a reason I am not an optimist. The Optimist sees a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Me? I see — A RAINBOW. There is only a pot-o-gold if the rainbow ends at a casino. And THEN your chances of getting that pot-o-gold are, like… 1 in 327 billion.

However, I feel differently about DOUBLE rainbows

And I digress.

In short, I ended up at Starbucks, basically, in an effort to find a pot-o-gold. *insert NOT THERE here*

  • I went with 3 kids.
  • None had their teeth brushed.
  • I spent $10.67 – coffee for me and a beggars plea to my children for “JUST 20 MINUTES! PLEASE!!!”
  • In NO time someone was flopping on the floor.
  • And yelling
  • And crying
  • And “reorganizing” the chairs.

I begged, “PLEASE!!!! For the love of Jello, bubbles, popsicles and all things childhood – JUST THIS ONCE HAVE MERCY ON YOUR POOR BLOGGING MOTHER!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who knew that was all the calm before the storm.

And 3…

2…

1…

Peeeeeeeeeeeee.

On the floor.

In a sweet effort to comply and help the youngest comply, my older daughter tickled my younger daughter. Which, apparently, is akin to flipping on a light switch with her.

The youngest puddled.

  • In Starbucks
  • Despite my desperation
  • In full view
  • Awesome
  • MY Pot-O-Gold
  • No wonder I don’t care for them.

I sent the spawn off to get in the car while I cleaned up the mess. I poked my head out the door for extra safety as they crossed the small closed lot to our van… A cranky WONDERFUL old man said to me, he said, “In or out. In or out. In or OUT.”

Seriously? Seriously.

What came out was NOT the content of my heart. Instead, through clenched teeth I passive-aggressed, “It sure is a nice day. You just have a nice day there, whydon’tcha. You are just a great, great man.”

Once the kids were in the car, I turned to clean the pee… gathered my things, got in my car.

And cried sobbed.

I am also in a certain lunar phase of womanhood, which is always great fun in times of stress.

Oh yeah, and I am leaving for BlogHer ’10 tomorrow morning, which means I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO DO TODAY!!!!!

I am thankful for my dear friend, Lisa (you can see our latest foray into the vlog world here)… Because she is coming to take my kids so I can fall back and re-group – like, a lot. And also finish packing.

* Speaking of BlogHer ’10… more info on my quest here!

********

Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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5 Responses to “The Down and Dirty: Blogging, Motherhood and Throw Me A Rope”

  1. greensullivan says:

    ((( ))) lots of hugs your way. You need a new column: stress mess-no wait I reserve that one for my blog, but you name your own. Did you smile yet? No? Ok take some more virtual love, a deep breath and then begin again. It’s ok. You’re gonna make it. Mwah!

  2. cali says:

    aww… honey… *hug* we all have those kinds of days 🙁 the great thing is that they END when the day ends(most of the time)

    chin up sista!! hope you have so much fun at blogher!!

  3. ((HUGS))
    Aww man. that bites!
    Have FUN at blogher…YAY! for blog friends like Lisa that save the DAY!

  4. Michelle W. says:

    It probably wouldn’t help at all to say we have all had those days/weeks/months. But I will.
    Big hugs to you and have a safe and fun trip!

  5. […] Every Little Bottom googleyahoobing « The Down and Dirty: Blogging, Motherhood and Throw Me A Rope […]

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