Testimony of a Mother: How to Let Go

by | Nov 15, 2008 | Joel, Parenting/Family | 12 comments

Testimony of a Mother: How to Let Go

Before becoming a mom I never thought:

  • I’d allow MY children to wear a saggy diaper.
  • I’d yell at them.
  • I’d wear socks with flip flops, but only in emergencies…
  • I’d wonder if I had birthed the spawn of the devil. 

Important note: The “threes” are the worst. Watch. Your. Back. Mark my words.

  • I’d yell say things like, “No Cocoa Puffs until you finish your donut!”
  • I’d need to turn the music DOWN.
  • I’d consider dried (but wiped-up) spit-up on my shoulder a sign of “arrival”… importance.
  • I’d kiss their heads SO! MUCH! *swoon*

Nor did I ever think…

  • I’d really, truly… NEED a drink. A strong drink. A double strong drink.
  • I’d have 3. I have 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, THREE children. 3!!!
  • About the fact that little people needed to be taught HOW to make pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty.
  • About how many times I would have to CLEAN-UP pee-pee and poo-poo which did not make it into the aforementioned potty.
  • I’d talk about pee-pee and poo-poo So. Dern. Much!
  • About the fact that they are not babies/toddlers FOREVER, and one day my oldest son would ask if he could wear deoderant and I would have to smell every brand in the deoderant aisle to make sure I wouldn’t be sending my 9 year-old son to school with sexy smelling armpits.
And I NEVER thought…
  • It would be an option to let my children wear shoes that do not match because despite owning a Payless store’s worth of shoes… there are days we can only find One. Of. Each. *eyes rolling and heavy sigh of exasperation*  
And I never, NEVER thought that in a situation as described above I would…
  • Feel genuinely relieved, even HAPPY… that among a sea of right-footed tennies & flip-flops, we find the left-foot of a snow boot!

Maybe I should have titled this “Aim Low”.

I have arrived people. I am a desperate broken defeated new woman. I think I have finally let go of the last remnant of maternal pride and dignity!
In celebration of this victory I want to give something to all the new parents out there… words of wisdom from Yours Truly:
Let go of your ideals. Either let them go, or they will be torn from your bloody, desperate parental grip. Don’t sweat the small stuff. You are dealing with independent, relentless, unbending, adorable wills. Certain things are worth the battle –like teaching them to NOT run into oncoming traffic… or not to bite your face– but matching shoes… clean shirts… eating spaghetti like piggies… wearing diapers weighing less than 10 pounds… It’s amazing how much the “small stuff” can add up and ruin life for you and the little people.
Go ahead… “Lilly” doesn’t HAVE to wear the matching princess jammie set to bed. The bottoms with big brother’s Hulk t-shirt will work just fine! Nor will it hurt “Tommy” to wear his Superman jammies to preschool for 6 weeks straight. I know this for a fact… I lived it back in ’03, and look how well adjusted this mommy turned out. You know what else? It didn’t hurt anyone when that same boy wore his Superman jammies for our Easter festivities that year. No little tie… no cute slacks… no tantrums either — Mother nor son. See how easy it is!


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