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Planking, Hula Hooping and a Slow Internets


I have been having some issues with my internets lately.

I have felt like it was 1996 again when it comes to speedy connectivity… sans that squarky, high-pitched dial-up sound.

Lately, I find myself waiting while that spinny, page loading/page not loading thingy turns.

And turns.

And turns.

And turns.

page loading/not loading spinner thingy
The other day, I had HAD IT.

Instead of sitting… *palm of hand to chin*… allowing my eyes to glaze over while being mezmerized by said spinny thing… I decided to DO something while waiting for the cursed page(s) to load.

I hula hooped.

And tested my planking skillz.

No. Not THIS planking.

THIS:

planking - stick figure

Unrelated: I am not a professional stick-figure drawer.

Gosh. At least I could have made my butt look like I work-out.

And I wish my sports bra worked as well as my drawing suggests.

I digress…

You KNOW it’s bad when you can hula hoop for 2 minutes, plank for one, hula hoop for another minute, plank one…  and THEN the page loads.

*eyes wild with rage*

So I loaded my things in the car to head to a coffee shop where THE REAL WORLD SURFS THE WEB.

I knew I had reached possible intervention-worthy-level anger/rage when on my way, I stopped my car in the middle of the road to expressively share my woes with the local ISP workers.

While at the coffee shop I replaced all the calories I burned while planking and hooping.

sugar cookie

It is not 1996. It should not take 5 minutes of worth of hooping and planking to load a page.

An aside – I can plank for a full minute without crying or making grunting sounds, so I am pretty impressed with me right now.

And sore.

In desperation over my internet woes I went to the husband in tears.

I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS!

I may or may not have placed the back of my palm against my forehead for dramatic emphasis.

He looked at me. His eyes were half-filled with compassion and half-filled with “Dude. First World problems.”

So he let me use his computer while he performed some sort-of technical mouth-to-mouth and/or voodoo on my computer.

Hitherhencetofore, I used his Spotify account, which tells his Facebook profile (thus his Facebook friends) what he is listening to.

Which means his friends think he has recently listened to Laura Branigan, Bobby Brown, Culture Club, New Edition, NKOTB, Tommy Tutone and Ricky Martin.

LIVIN’ LA VIDA LOCA!

Heh.

Enough about me.

FOR NOW.

What kind of music do you dig? I like most music (exception: music with steel drums – unless I’m on an island with a drink that has an umbrella in it… And I am not a fan of obscure stoner-hippie music… *YAWN*… and I I’m not super-crazy about jazz… More of a case-by-case basis on that, but  I LOVE blues… And rap. And 80’s pop. And Doris Day. Your turn!

Besides, I’m feeling hungry… Hungry Like the Wolf! Did you know my friend Lisa took me to see Duran Duran last Fall?

*faints*

She loves me.

P.S. I have two giveaways going right now… One with jump ropes and chocolate and the other is about coffee and $1000. I. Know! Get crackin’!

********

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4 Responses to “Planking, Hula Hooping and a Slow Internets”

  1. Lu says:

    Funny you mention hula hooping. I am buying one today so I can get my exercise on. I forgot how much I love doing that.

  2. I bought a grown-up hula hoop last year at a street festival but don’t do it much. Maybe I should dig it out.

  3. kerry says:

    i love your planking cartoon!!!! jenny, you should totally start a planking cartoon story… it would be A.W.E.S.O.M.E

    ps…… i hate that turny thing too, drives me nuts. xx

  4. Jo says:

    Should I even ask what a ‘grown up’ hula hoop is?!? Ahahahaha…think I’ll leave that one alone!! I think it’s safer that way for us all don’t you??? 😉 <3

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