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My brain… send help.

I got this text from my friend, Trish recently…

car keys for a birthday giftI remember before the party I couldn’t find my keys.

Normal.

They always turn up.

Why yes… yes they do.

Even sometimes IN the birthday presents our children give at parties.

Then there was this one time I almost missed a flight.

Which is not abnormal. People miss flights all the time. But not usually when they’ve been waiting at/near the gate for over hour.

Basically… the story goes… I waited 2 gates down but thought I was at the right one… On account of the fact that my rememberer is glitchy. When they announced it was time to board… I got in line.

I was almost about to hand over my ticket when I looked at the monitor and saw my error.

A flight to San Jose… but I was heading to Dallas.

This was about 7 weeks ago, friends. none of these things have happened too long ago. I am THIS out of my mind at present.

I scrambled and found the correct gate AND WHAT A LOVELY WELCOME!!!

 Are you Jenny?

I thought, “WOW! What service!”

Go straight on in, you’re the last passenger. Everyone is on board.

Oh.

Speaking of flying… there was this one time I booked my flights to LA and back… aaaaaaaaand it seems I booked both flights toooooooo LA.

Yes. This is what I do.

Did I tell you about the time I started weeping like a baby in a Los Angeles cab because I convinced myself the driver (who was going the opposite direction of my destination) decided to abduct me and I was certain my dismembered remains would be found at the bottom of the dry LA River?

I haven’t told you about that?

Well prolly cuz that was just on Friday night. I almost jumped out of the cab. I think the driver wanted to too. It wasn’t pretty.

The fall into insanity is never pretty.

Turns out he plugged in the wrong address. But those guys don’t listen so it was impossible to confirm what address he thought I was headed to vs. the address I really needed to head to. Which only made it worse that he wouldn’t listen to me… YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!

I’m not sure I know what I mean. I just know I almost totally jumped out of a moving cab at 6 o’clock on a Friday night in downtown L.A.

Basically I paid $7 to go in a 3 block circle, almost have a heart attack and be delivered back to my hotel.

Where I just went back to my room and ordered 2 stomachs worth of food.

And ate all that food.

I did.

Heh. And I thought I had nothing interesting to write about…

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10 Responses to “My brain… send help.”

  1. The Maven says:

    I love you Jenny. 🙂

    Looking forward to seeing you this week.

  2. Carrie says:

    Not sure there’s a feeling worse than having to walk down that aisle knowing you’re the passenger they’ve all been waiting on.

    And they’re looking. But won’t make eye contact because they don’t want you sitting by them.

    I’ve had that happen twice. It’s almost worth just missing the whole flight.

    You’re too funny. =)

  3. Chantelle says:

    All this “insanity” is precisely why we love you. (((hug)))

  4. Jenny says:

    Oh, girl. This sounds oh so familiar.

    Like when I reach for something on a shelf at the market, and come home with something else.

    Or stack up everything by the door so o don’t forget to take them with me — and then forget to take them with me.

    You aren’t alone.

  5. Jen says:

    I once got a set of keys in a birthday present! They were to my friend’s mother’s Lexus! I unfortunately did not yet have my license, so I returned them.

  6. Karen says:

    Oh Goodness! I’m glad you are ok!!!

  7. Michelle W says:

    Glad it’s not just me:)
    If we put our minds together, we’d have one whole one….and then Watch out world!
    What was I saying?
    Oh yes, wrapping your keys is a new one.
    Love you and your Jenny~ness.

  8. Oh you are not alone! Well maybe just a little. I have never wrapped my keys, thank goodness, and have never booked my flight to arrive at the same place LOLOLOL.

    You crack me up 🙂

  9. I {heart} you….crazy and all. 🙂 Because I am SO much the same in the forgetful/scared of an abduction by a cabby situation. I was willing to make my husband wake up all my children at midnight to pick me up at the airport so I didn’t have to cab it. I asked a friend I was cabbing home with to let me go home first because I don’t like to ride alone in cabs….forget her safety, at least I would make it home? I might be a bad friend…..if we cab together, we’ll just have to do the sleepover situation instead of leaving one behind, M’kay?

  10. Kerry says:

    I’m laughing my glittery a*s off at the keys in the present!!

    Oh jenny, how i love thee. xx

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