Make Me Laugh Monday: Maybe It'll Be Funny in Hindsight
It’s been a bit, well… busy lately.
My house is… well… feels less like a house and more like a garbage dump, but with more dog hair.
*eyes go wild*
So, my husband, saw me in my glory distress (read: he may or may not have called home to speak to a weepy, sobby, hiccupy-crying wife who had reached the end of her already very short rope)… SO when he got home he was all, “YOU LEAVE. LEAVE. AND WORK NOT HERE.”
I rolled a lint roller all over my body thrice, and thrice times more before heading out the door… to go work at a local/chain coffee/bookseller. I drove 15 minutes to get away from home to work not in dog hair and the puddles of my own tears.
I walked into the coffee shop. I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone with eyes. Which wasn’t hard since my eyes were so practically completely swollen shut from crying anyway, but I digress.
I ordered a coffee and a slice of quiche. I went to “set-up shop” when I realized all of the outlets were permanently covered.
Excuse me sir. Is every single outlet sealed?
Uh. Even in the bookshop area?
Yeah. They don’t want people hanging around.
Circumstance – 10; Jenny – 0
They refunded my money (thankfully). I went back to the car, and called the Huz. He tried not to, but he laughed, because he knows… he KNOWS I am a MAGNET for this kind of stuff.
You see, it’s not any one thing that is bad or terrible… There are just times when life feels a lot like Chinese water torture. It’s not any ONE drip of opposable circumstance… it’s the relentless drip. Drip. Drip.
There was another restaurant I knew had wifi, but I figured with the way Circumstance was courting me, I should make a call and ask a few questions.
When do you close?
I don’t know.
You don’t know?
Uhhh… is there someone you can ask?
Oh yeah! … … … … … I’m sorry. 10.
Do you have outlets that are accessible?
I don’t know.
You don’t KNOW?
Oh …. …. …. Yes we do.
And you have wifi, right?
No? Maybe you just used to… ?
Hold on… … … … I’m sorry. I guess we do.
This is all real, actualy, for real-life conversation. For realsies.
I drove past my home and 10 minutes beyond to finally hunker down for a good 3 hours to knock out a Keynote presentation.
I ate a chicken quesadilla, drank a beer, then ordered coffee and crème brûlée. Some people have blankies they go to for comfort. Me? I prefer a blanket of FOOD.
I finished about 90% of my presentation, and 100% of my food!
Enter today – when I was gonna go spit-shine that baby.
My entire Keynote presentation is gone.
100% of the 90% is g-to-the-o-n-e.
But you know what is NOT gone.
The dog hair.
Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…
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