My first thoughts/feelings when I woke up this morning were filled with anger… An assumptive anger. You know the kind. Where you assume all kinds of scenarios, but there is no rational reasoning… because the conversation has not yet happened with the other party. It very well could work out fine. (Oh I wish you could hear the voices in my head as I struggled to put a period on that last sentence.) But instead you wake up the first day of 21012 assume the worst and stew inside.
Yeah. THAT.
So basically, I am mad because I think that I think that I know what is going to happen. But I actually have no idea what will happen.
And in this space… I hold my tongue. For if I have learned anything in 2011 it is that usually if I hold my tongue, I am thankful. My negative assumptions are proven wrong and my tongue-holding becomes a blessing to all involved.
I hope I am worrying for nothing.
Not that I want to worry for nothing, but I am worrying and can’t stop… hitherhecetofore I hope I am worrying for nothing on this first day of 2012.
I want to enter 2012 with hope. Optimism. I want to be going big or going home all over the butt of 2012.
But, and also… I have a hard time letting go of the limitations. I am really good at identifying limitations.
Namely, time.
And also people.
If I have learned anything in my several decades of living I have learned I cannot control time. Nor can I control people. Even with sparkles.
And that is why in all my resolve to take the horns of the bull of 2012 and make it my… *ahem* pet bull… I consider the uncontrolables (?). Too much.
I have seen many-a-happy Facebook post this morning… starting the year off on a positive note.
Me? I closed Facebook discouraged because I wanted to add something happy. MEANINGFUL. But all I could come up with was the fact I was wearing the same shirt for 3 days (yay, less laundry!) and I that I was mad about a situation I am not even sure will be something to be mad about.
In addition to another few other things I am certain will never tickle the pages of here.
So. In an effort to not throw the 2012 baby out with the bathwater… I have decided I have put too much pressure on this ONE DAY OF 2012 to set a positive tone for the rest of the year.
Hitherhencetofore, it is with careful consideration I leave you with this picture… and a note of hope…
May your dough always rise in 2012.
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