In Which I Am THAT Parent: No You Cannot Download That Song.
I do not go into great detail here about my religio-politico bent.
Why? Well, for one, I don’t think religio-politico is a word.
And for two… if others don’t agree with me I think they are stupid.
We wish I was kidding.
Maybe that was a little harsh, but when it comes down to it, I don’t appreciate a good debate (I am an ENFJ – F for feeler and J for judger… it’s who I am… hitherhencetofore there is nothing not personal about a “friendly” debate)…
…and I am pretty sure my reasoning is infallible so why open things up for discussion?
There is no discussion when it comes to my political and religious views. I am always right.
Just ask my husband.
However, I do not detest those who hold other viewpoints. I just think they’re wrong. I don’t feel the need to save them from their wrong-ness. I just love them through it and hope my clear rightness is so lovely and clearly right… all will bend to my way of thinking.
No one burst my bubble.
Now I have a tween.
This means there are countlesstitudes of issues that currently are and will soon be knocking at the door of my infallible convictions.
Unrelated, I may or may not have issues with control.
The big thing in our household right now is MUSIC –> Teens/tweens and parents and MUSIC.
*commence years of banging head against wall*
The song currently on the table: Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO
I will admit… it’s catchy… has some fun techno funk-ness happenin’. It seems benign…
And apparently *they* play it at the gym at school.
THANK YOU MIDDLE SCHOOL DECIDERS OF WHAT MUSIC MY 12 YEAR OLD LISTENS TO AT SCHOOL.
In my conservative defense, may I just copy/paste some key lyrics?
In the club party rock, lookin’ for your girl? She on my jock
Nonstop when we in the spot, booty movin’ weight like she on the block
Or how about…
Yo, I’m runnin’ through these ho’s like Drano
Step up fast and be the first girl to make me throw this cash
One more shot for us, another round
Please fill up my cup, don’t mess around
We just wanna see you shake it now
Now you wanna be, you’re naked now…
Now… call me a prude, but… I don’t want this stuff feeding the mind of my 12 year old boy.
I. Just. Don’t.
My husband and I had a heart-to-heart … because my son wants the song on his iPod… because they play it at school… and friends at school have it… oh and can he have Eminem on his iPod too?
(Confession: I own a few Eminem songs … you may or may not have seen me
sing lipsync a few bars… but he doesn’t get to listen to my music.)
Here’s the deal. We want him to feel like he’s relevant – can be in discussion with his peers… but…
But not if they runnin’ through they ho’s like Drano!
For him to have relevance, does he also have to adopt this life-philosophy? I am being a little dramatic…
But am I?
Why is it OK to play this music at school?
Why are 6th graders having dances?
What’s the benefit?
Are parents really OK with this stuff or are they ignorant… are they not Googling the lyrics?
Should I be googling the lyrics? I never listened to the lyrics…
We (the husband and I) struggle. We were both raised conservatively… and regard the protections we had. At 38, I can now see how I benefitted from not having access to all I really, really, really, really reaaaaaalllly wanted. I hated it then, but am so thankful now.
I truly believe I was spared some significant heartache and perhaps some natural consequence.
I know that I lied and sneaked. But not to to the extreme one might assume. But I lied and sneaked nonetheless. My defiance was limited mostly because I always got caught. So… I just stopped bothering.
But the question begs – was I more curious about some things because of restrictions or… without the restrictions would I have gone wild?
What is my son’s personality? What is the best way to help protect his innocence, yet allow him room to choose and not feel deprived… so he won’t feel the need to go wild?
I think no matter what, a “no” will leave any youth feeling deprived. I don’t think it is avoidable.
So. To some extend him feeling misunderstood and utterly bound is unavoidable.
Where do we go from there?
I suppose a focus on the bigger picture…. rebellion will happen along the way. It just will. Our struggle is dealing with each thing in a way that paints a bigger picture for him… so he receives protection from his parents… is allowed to feel like he has power to make some of his own choices… and in the long run raise him (and our girls) to desire to choose the high (or harder) road.
You see, this is not just about this one song… this is just one very important brick in the road we are building with our son. He is not our friend. He is our son… But someday we hope we will have that with our adult son.
We don’t want our rules to make him feel like he doesn’t fit in… Not that fitting-in is the end all be all. It’s just something that we feel should be weighed. We feel our son has great potential for positive impact on his peers and feel our actions as his parents can help or hinder that.
But above all — we don’t want him to fit in with a culture that sees fit the fellas run through ho’s like Drano.
Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you.
1 John 3:13
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