If I can’t drive the one I want, I’ll pimp out the one I’m with…
I’ve always wanted a green or blue or yellow or orange or red or purple or even pink VW Beetle. New school, old school… A Bug… any Bug. With polka dots or a rainbow… A cute, round Bug.
Alas… not so much for me.
But why waste time pining?
If I can’t drive the one I want, I’ll pimp out the one I’m with. And sometimes it’s the little things…
A little (f)lash on the front…
A little bling(le) hanging from the rearview mirror…
My son said one day, “Mom… I bet we have the only car in the world with car lashes AND a blingle bell.” I said, “Son. I think you’re right. Ain’t it awesome?!”
Plus, I get checked out ALL the time. Well, my van. My HotYssey. She makes people smile… as her lashes blow in the wind…
And the folks who think it’s ridiculous? They’re just jealous. They don’t have the balls.
Nor the lashes.
How about you? Would you wear car lashes?
Now you’ll have to excuse me… I need to go dust my dashboard and do something about the petrified french fries.
I’m kidding. I think I’m gonna go play on Pinterest instead. Or not.
I’m a wild card. Who knows what I’ll do. I may just go write a post about fat-free half.
When I proof-read that sentence I realized I only wrote half of the half and half.
See? I’m a regular Pantera’s Box of No One Even Knows What I Am Capable Of…
Or not capable of, for that matter.
Maybe I’ll just go to bed.
Yeah. I think that.
You don’t even know.
And apparently, nor do I.
P.S. It’s 10 days until my birthday. Not that it’s a big deal or anything. This is just going to be the last year before I hit a new decade. *insert freaking out here* I feel like I should make a list of 39 things I should do this next year before I’m not 39 anymore.
Or maybe I’ll just make a birthday list!
- A VW Beetle.
- A Hawaiian/tropical vacation.
- A house cleaner – for life
- A car detail
- A pool
A pool boy
- A role as a dancer on Dancing with the Stars
- To become a STAR (see above)
- and world peace
*This list brought to you by exhaustion.
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