Help Is Not All That Helpful

by | Jul 27, 2008 | Parenting/Family | 12 comments

From the mind of the mother of 3 children.

A post in which I propose and prove the following theory: “help” is – in fact– a form medieval torture for mothers.

Help Is Not All That Helpful

I don’t prefer “help”.

Often times (read: every… time…), help is, actually Not. All. That. Helpful.

It’s not that I want or need to do all the work or make all the effort.

I am a HUGE fan of minimal effort, but not a huge fan of “help”.

What I am trying to communicate is: If I have to do the work I want to control the pace, the rhythm, the progress. Progress people! Steady progress! 


I want someone else (read: adult) to do all the work. And not just the “start” but also the “finish”. You see a “start” without a “finish” is not “ALL”. And if it is not ALL then it is not HELPFUL

I write this with great guilt. Inspired by the guilt, even.

My kids love to “help”, and this is a hard area in my relationship with my children.

It is especially difficult when cooking. Especially. I need to let them “help”… because, for me, that is what a good mom does… teaches, nurtures.

I want to be that for them. I really do.

Of course, not yelling would be a “good mom” thing also.

Baby steps.


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