He Is Keeping Inventory

by | Nov 13, 2010 | Joel, Parenting/Family | 9 comments

My son keeps inventory of his Halloween candy.

halloween candy


And how much does this make you want him to be your kid?

Ah. Dorable.

And if I showed you a picture of my sock drawer, you’d totally see where he gets it from.

But I am too lazy to get up and take a picture of my sock drawer, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

*blank stare*

Aaaaanywho. I know that there is a great deal of candy. Perhaps I would not have been voted the best parenting blog in the Best of Western Washington’s thing-a-ma-hoodle had people known I let my kid keep his candy stash in his room…

At least it’s not drugs.

Just sayin’…


So. There was that one day I had a phone call with Joel McHale of “Community”. The one where I had to lock myself in my son’s room and I was forced…

Yes. FORCED… To eat my son’s candy.

Abuse. Therapy.

After my son got home from school that day, he went to choose his daily piece-o-nom-ness and the numbers weren’t adding up. Immediately, he went after his littlest sister.


“Uh. Joel. It was me. I did it.”

I continued, “Dude. The wasp made me do it. You don’t even know. Mom really needed some some chocolate.”

And then, like an angel, my boy… said,

“It’s OK mom… If you didn’t take me trick-or-treating I wouldn’t have had ANY candy.”

*jaw on floor*

Did you just cry? I think I just heard your heart melt too.

What a good kid…

Well, as long as his sisters don’t take his candy.


Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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