I don’t care. Call me a wuss, a weenie, a wimp… but I do not like bugs, es-stinkin’-specially if they fly. Es-stinkin’-speciallier if they are bigger than a pea… say, for example — a dragonfly!
This guy broke into my house one evening when my husband was gone. For fear of my own life, I hunkerd down in my bedroom for the evening, and let him come to a natural demise. I found him on my hallway floor the next morning.
ONLY because Lucy freaked out and said, “Please throw him away, Mama! I’m scared!” I covered him with wipes and tissues before trying to dispose of his body. Despite my most tender efforts, I still crackled his wings, which threw me into a gagging fit of gagging.
***
Bugs. They make me scream like a girl. But I am a girl, so… sue me. People say,
They’re more scared of you than you are of them!
To that I say,
BULL. HONKY. LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!
Then I say,
#1 bugs don’t HAVE feelings. #2 SHADDUP!!!
Sure, I am bigger than most bugs. But I CAN’T FLY!!! They are faster, dumber and CANNOT BE REASONED WITH because…
THEY ARE BUGS!
And some of them sting and it has been rumored that some could kill me if their fangs were long enough. And have you seen my hair???!!! Wings + my hair = areyoukidding me???
AGH!
Sinister wee beasts of the devil.
Hitherhencetofore… I am afraid of bugs… spiders… For that matter, I am also afraid of mice and rats and sting rays and jelly fish and coyotes and bears and lions and tigers.
And at times, my children.
And sloths.
Wildlife. WILDlife.
Yeah.
********
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