I had to go run an errand.
We needed more milk. It was 6:45. At night. And I had pancakes to make for dinner.
They don’t call me Jenny On the Spot for nothin’…
Aaanywho… The kids stayed home. Dad was home. Don’t judge.
Then I came back.
With milk. But not fabric softener.
I needed fabric softener more than I needed milk.
When I drove up, my son (12) was standing on a rock doing this:
Let me explain what is going on here:
- I don’t know.
But now I do, because I rolled down the car window and I was all, “JOEL. !!!! JOEL. !!!!”
He rubbed his bulging, lumpy belly and half-moaned-half-giggled, “I ate too many corn dogs!”
My son has taken quite a fancy to the art of practical joking. So, in my errand-running absence my son stuffed his t-shirt with his sister’s Pillow Pet, put ketchup on the corners of his mouth, and filled his mouth with milk…
The REST of our milk. Good thing I forgot the fabric softener and not the milk afterall…
My son waited patiently for my return.
And as I drive up (literally, UP – we have a bit of a peak at the top of our country-like-drive) I see my son standing on a rock… spewing.
I drove the van onto the concrete pad. I opened the door and set my feet on the concrete.
And then my son “vomited” the rest of his milk at my feet as I stood up.
I gagged, though I knew it wasn’t vomit.
Then I yell-laughed at him to hose it off.
Because it was actually quite funny.
Horrible. Gross. And funny.
This little family I am nurturing. Oh people…
While some moms might be appalled and such… I will admit I felt a little gaggy, but I also felt a sense of pride. Math can be mastered — because there are rules. However… a good sense of humor – that’s a gift.
Also a gift? Hosing the fake vomit off the driveway. A gift to mom.
Do you like feeling pretty? Mary Kay is letting me give a $100 gift basket, but you have to go here to enter!
And also $100 Visa gift card. I have one of those too! But here… go here!
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but ya can’t fool MY KIDS — here.
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