A Life List On Account of Aging and Whathaveyou.

So. I have this friend… Laurie (a.k.a. Tip Junkie), and we were chatting on the tele the other day.

Laurie and I have shared some really good times..

good times

And add Mom Spark into the mix… Whoa Nellie!!!

pyramid![picture credit: Amy/Mom Spark]

Aaanywho… Laurie and I were talking about intentions (we talked about that Amy too!) and goals and growing and moving forward and business online-ness and all kinds of stuff that leaves a girl feeling all “mountain toppy”…

And then she was all, “You know… you should make a LIFE LIST!”

And that young Laurie has a way of making lists sound perky.

And then she told me her list consists of things she’d like to attain/do/accomplish by the time she’s 40.

And then I reached for my cane to hit her got real frustrated because she has several more years to work on her “By the Time I’m 40 Life List” than I do.



But I digress {brows furrow}.

I figure since I’m not getting any younger… and the thought of turning 38 (shhhh, don’t tell Hollywood!) actually made my belly churn today (like it did that one time before I went bungee jumping)… I figured I should make this list before I need bifocals I can’t find.

Sidebar: my 5 year old asked how old I was going to be. When I fessed up and told her 38 she FREAKED, “THIRTY. EIGHT???!!! THAT’S MORE THAN ALL THE KIDS IN MY WHOLE CLASS!!! THAT’S FREAKISHLY OLD AWESOME!”

In that moment I swear I felt every one of my bones degenerate as each consonant she shrieked pounded my frail, old ears… and my dentures almost fell out.

But I digress… Life List…

I’m not sure how many things should be on a life list. Since this life list has a 2 year focus… Focus? What does that even mean? Isn’t that a car?


In random order… Here follows my list of things to PWN by the time I am 40:

  • Hit my goal weight if only for ONE day… or at least get close enough to be able to say, “I am only one stomach flu away from my goal-weight!”
  • Figure out what my goal weight actually IS.
  • Pay off Sallie Mae.
  • I’m not kidding. I still have 1 college loan out.
  • Guest host SNL.
  • Kathy Bates didn’t get an Oscar until she was 42, so…
  • They give Academy Awards to SNL guest hosts, right?
  • Never give up hope…
  • Change my middle name to Hope… for good measure.
  • Get a tattoo… that my middle daughter would never see… because it would break her heart for her mama to get a tattoo.
  • Or not get a tattoo and use the money for some really hot boots, and take my middle daughter to lunch.
  • Or Hawaii.
  • Go to Hawaii.
  • Go ANYWHERE tropical.
  • … paid for in cash OR… *insert your name here if you are in a position to offer a old woman blogger and her husband/family the opportunity to go somewhere tropical via a creative work-relationship or completely free*
  • This next one is ambitious… work with a team to bring a women-centered (but not exclusive to the females) social media & creative learning Event of Awesome to the Pacific Northwest.
  • Not be afraid that I just stated that.
  • Why do I feel like winning an Oscar is more attainable than organizing an Event of Awesome?
  • Start a community site for local bloggers.
  • I have a URL, just not the time.
  • None time.
  • But I sleep with a designer.
  • Become mayor of a Starbucks. If only for a day… *raises fist to Foursquare & “regulars”*
  • Replace stock photos in picture frames in my home with pictures of my family and/or friends.
  • Become a rock star.
  • Fall out of love with sugar.
  • Host a regular segment on a talk show.
  • Not unrelated, confirm that “Denial” is not a river in Egypt.
  • I don’t think I have the focus time to host an entire talk show… that’ll be on my “before I’m 45 life list”.
  • Or on the list of topics to speak with a therapist about.
  • Therapy. I hear that’s something people do. Let’s add that.
  • By the time I am 40, I will finally understand what aperture is and own a camera that needs me to understand what aperture is. *Nikon, are you listening?*
  • Oh, oh! I will be the boss of Photoshop… like Al Capone was the boss of the Mob!
  • I already know how to swim, so… I can’t add that…
  • But I am wildly afraid of jellyfish and sharks.
  • And bees.
  • I fully intend to keep being afraid of all three.
  • My garage is filled with 2 years of intended garage-sale items. By the time I am 40, it will all be sold, given away or burned (shhhhh, don’t tell the county!)…
  • I want to be a more confident public speaker… hitherhencetofore, be a sought-out sthpeaker.
  • Figure out something to speak on that people seek-out.
  • Fear of bees, jelly fish and sharks?
  • I’d like to pay off our house.
  • I’m kidding.
  • I’m not kidding.
  • But it could happen.
  • How does the lottery work?
  • When a person wins an Oscar, the Oscar people pay the winner’s mortgage off, yes?
  • I’m thinking I should make sure I move “therapy” to the top of this list.


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14 Responses to “A Life List On Account of Aging and Whathaveyou.”

  1. jules says:

    Happy Birthday, Jenny! May all of your dreams come true!!

  2. still working on my list….but OMG….I about spit out my coffee when I saw “Be Mayor of Starbucks” because, seriously, that really is on my list (Be mayor of Starbucks – hell – be mayor of ANYTHING).

    So is learning about aperature. So sucks to not be able to figure this out.
    Its like physics. Or learning how to pronounce any of these Welsh town names.

    So young, little one. Have a fabulous day. I think the number one thing on your list should be eat cake today!

  3. Karen says:

    You make me laugh so hard!!! That’s quite a list…! I like it that you called it a Life list instead of a bucket list!! Well, if Hollywood ever recognizes you or not, you are a STAR to us!! As one who is past 40… it’s really not that bad! Just enjoy every day! Happy Birthday my snorterrific friend!

  4. Kearsie says:

    It’s been many a moon since I commented here on your bloggity blog, so here I am. And my comment is:

    This is pure brilliance. And I can’t wait to be asked to attend the Awesome Blogger/Creative/Woman Event and be a sthpeaker. And to watch you on SNL. Also, I turn 35 in a month and I’m trying like mad to not be afraid of it.

  5. lisa says:

    if you make it on SNL I promise to watch (I never watch)
    happy bday

  6. Me too!! 38 in less than 3 months – new we were kindred… have been thinking about a list JUST like this one. But without the Oscars. And the sharks. Oh and SNL – b/c I’m not funny. But a list nonetheless.

    Wishing you the happiest of happiests…. xoxo and the whatever-it-takes to do all that jazz….

  7. Happy birthday! I love your list and how you so seem to live life to the fullest, whether or not you’ve done something on your list or not! I hope you’ve had a great day and come to terms with your number! 😉

    I’m ::cough, cough:: older than you, and will be another number older than you in just a few weeks. Hawaii should be on my list. I was born there, but I get the feeling the islands miss me (the bank would miss what little money I have there if I took it out to try and go, though!)

  8. I love you….you are hilarious…and those are great goals…and the humor, I totally get you…I would totally go to your Oscar party!

  9. Amber says:

    Love your list! You make me laugh. With you, not at you 🙂

  10. stacey says:

    Good luck with that list! I started my countdown to 40 a week ago! Grr…

  11. MommaDJane says:

    I LOVE me some JENNY ON THE SPOT. I can hear myself calling that out loud at Type A Mom and Mom 2.0 Summit. Can’t wait to see you again next year!

    Love your list, hilarious! Of course, expect none the less. Check mine out, not quite as funny as yours… I should go right now and add the item replace the stock photos in my frames for real photos of my family. Because seriously, the large frame above my living room TV is full of fakes. After about 5 people over the past year, yes I admit it – a full year, have asked who the people are you’d think I would have learned my lesson. *sigh*

  12. MommaDJane says:

    Oh and Hawaii is on my Life List also. I just bought a new Nikon camera although I have not a clue how to ‘truly’ use it as in out of auto mode so I say we plan a trip to Hawaii and learn together while photographing the sunset!

    Surely someone out there wants to send us and read all about our experience, you think? 😉

  13. Katherine says:

    Congrats JOTS for winning the Best of WW Parenting blog category. Nice work!

    I do hope you’ll put together the Pac Northwest women in social media/creative/awesome pow-wow. That would be awesome.

    PS – Happy Birthday!

  14. Vanesa K says:

    Wow…never have I seen so much randomness…all together.
    My favorite was to replace the stock photos with actual photos of people you know. Lol!

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