A Life List On Account of Aging and Whathaveyou.

by | Oct 27, 2010 | General, Sparkle, Goodness, Awesome | 14 comments

So. I have this friend… Laurie (a.k.a. Tip Junkie), and we were chatting on the tele the other day.

Laurie and I have shared some really good times..

good times

And add Mom Spark into the mix… Whoa Nellie!!!

pyramid![picture credit: Amy/Mom Spark]

Aaanywho… Laurie and I were talking about intentions (we talked about that Amy too!) and goals and growing and moving forward and business online-ness and all kinds of stuff that leaves a girl feeling all “mountain toppy”…

And then she was all, “You know… you should make a LIFE LIST!”

And that young Laurie has a way of making lists sound perky.

And then she told me her list consists of things she’d like to attain/do/accomplish by the time she’s 40.

And then I reached for my cane to hit her got real frustrated because she has several more years to work on her “By the Time I’m 40 Life List” than I do.



But I digress {brows furrow}.

I figure since I’m not getting any younger… and the thought of turning 38 (shhhh, don’t tell Hollywood!) actually made my belly churn today (like it did that one time before I went bungee jumping)… I figured I should make this list before I need bifocals I can’t find.

Sidebar: my 5 year old asked how old I was going to be. When I fessed up and told her 38 she FREAKED, “THIRTY. EIGHT???!!! THAT’S MORE THAN ALL THE KIDS IN MY WHOLE CLASS!!! THAT’S FREAKISHLY OLD AWESOME!”

In that moment I swear I felt every one of my bones degenerate as each consonant she shrieked pounded my frail, old ears… and my dentures almost fell out.

But I digress… Life List…

I’m not sure how many things should be on a life list. Since this life list has a 2 year focus… Focus? What does that even mean? Isn’t that a car?


In random order… Here follows my list of things to PWN by the time I am 40:

  • Hit my goal weight if only for ONE day… or at least get close enough to be able to say, “I am only one stomach flu away from my goal-weight!”
  • Figure out what my goal weight actually IS.
  • Pay off Sallie Mae.
  • I’m not kidding. I still have 1 college loan out.
  • Guest host SNL.
  • Kathy Bates didn’t get an Oscar until she was 42, so…
  • They give Academy Awards to SNL guest hosts, right?
  • Never give up hope…
  • Change my middle name to Hope… for good measure.
  • Get a tattoo… that my middle daughter would never see… because it would break her heart for her mama to get a tattoo.
  • Or not get a tattoo and use the money for some really hot boots, and take my middle daughter to lunch.
  • Or Hawaii.
  • Go to Hawaii.
  • Go ANYWHERE tropical.
  • … paid for in cash OR… *insert your name here if you are in a position to offer a old woman blogger and her husband/family the opportunity to go somewhere tropical via a creative work-relationship or completely free*
  • This next one is ambitious… work with a team to bring a women-centered (but not exclusive to the females) social media & creative learning Event of Awesome to the Pacific Northwest.
  • Not be afraid that I just stated that.
  • Why do I feel like winning an Oscar is more attainable than organizing an Event of Awesome?
  • Start a community site for local bloggers.
  • I have a URL, just not the time.
  • None time.
  • But I sleep with a designer.
  • Become mayor of a Starbucks. If only for a day… *raises fist to Foursquare & “regulars”*
  • Replace stock photos in picture frames in my home with pictures of my family and/or friends.
  • Become a rock star.
  • Fall out of love with sugar.
  • Host a regular segment on a talk show.
  • Not unrelated, confirm that “Denial” is not a river in Egypt.
  • I don’t think I have the focus time to host an entire talk show… that’ll be on my “before I’m 45 life list”.
  • Or on the list of topics to speak with a therapist about.
  • Therapy. I hear that’s something people do. Let’s add that.
  • By the time I am 40, I will finally understand what aperture is and own a camera that needs me to understand what aperture is. *Nikon, are you listening?*
  • Oh, oh! I will be the boss of Photoshop… like Al Capone was the boss of the Mob!
  • I already know how to swim, so… I can’t add that…
  • But I am wildly afraid of jellyfish and sharks.
  • And bees.
  • I fully intend to keep being afraid of all three.
  • My garage is filled with 2 years of intended garage-sale items. By the time I am 40, it will all be sold, given away or burned (shhhhh, don’t tell the county!)…
  • I want to be a more confident public speaker… hitherhencetofore, be a sought-out sthpeaker.
  • Figure out something to speak on that people seek-out.
  • Fear of bees, jelly fish and sharks?
  • I’d like to pay off our house.
  • I’m kidding.
  • I’m not kidding.
  • But it could happen.
  • How does the lottery work?
  • When a person wins an Oscar, the Oscar people pay the winner’s mortgage off, yes?
  • I’m thinking I should make sure I move “therapy” to the top of this list.


Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

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