IT SUCKS. My ego suffereth. My poor, sparkly, aging ego…
Now I understand why the age-ed tend to be grumpy —> AGING SUCKS —> hitherhencetofore —> MAJOR GRUMPAGE.
I actually have quite a few years left before I officially enter what one would truly consider “old” and I already feel like swatting something with a cane. Great oogly-moogly…
In a nutshell, a few visits to medical professionals in this last week have revealed what I have long-suspected — my body is getting older. It matters not how I ACT… the body and brain are not in alignment.
Le issues:
I have to get a gum graft-thing because my gums are receding. At least it’s not my hair line…
From what they tell me, that is all kinds of fun and not something that that young people do. And in the name of fun I am TOTALLY opting for the special pill I will take an hour before going in… so that while the doc takes the skin from the roof of my mouth and applies it to my lower gummulars (???) I can “KNOW but not CARE…” …to quote the periodontal nurse.
Pretty sure I’m gonna have my huz take video. I think that might make for a good vlog, what with the knowing and not caring and all… that’s good times right there.
Did I ever tell you about the time when I was 24 and had my wisdom teeth removed and was put under anesthesia… and when I “came-to” I wept so loudly in my recovery state that the dentist came and chastised me and told me I was making the other patients uncomfortable.
It didn’t help. I cried harder because I felt bad that I couldn’t stop crying. And then cried more because I was mad at the doc for being mad at me for doing something that was completely reasonable. And I was 24.
I was prescribed “readers”. PEOPLE. I went into my appointment and said, “I am getting old. My eyes are acting like I am getting old.” The nurse lady was all, “Oh honey. You’re not 40. You still have a few years.”
BECAUSE 38.5 IS SO FAR FROM BEING 40, RIGHT?
And then the doctor did his fancy thing with lights that blind and whathaveyou… He issued me a prescription for my normal half-way-to-blind-cannot-drive-without-corrective-lenses-nearsighted eyes… AND THEN HE ISSUED A PRESCRIPTION FOR READERS. TO WEAR WITH MY CONTACTS. Granted, it is a very LOW prescription, BUT STILL.
He also found cataracts.
You’re gasping?
I DID.
The good news is these have been there many, many, many, many years. So they are not senile-related cataracts. He did say, however, that in 30 years I’ll need to have that taken care of. He also said he probably shouldn’t have told me.
I may or may not have reacted with a bit of concern.
HOW MANY CARROTS DO I NEED TO EAT TO MAKE THEM STOP?
ALSO, DOES THIS MEAN I AM GOING TO NEED TO START WRITING IN ALL CAPS? SO AS TO HELP ME BE ABLE TO READ?
Also, I don’t think doctors are good for my ego.
Not related to medical professionals, but to the whole “old” thing… I’m COLD.
ALL THE TIME.
My mom wears a robe all the time. And lately I have been wearing a robe all the time.
I even wore it to pick up my kids from rehearsal one night.
It’s BAD.
And Mama, I am not calling you old, but… you are older than me… and now I understand.
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