Mom shaming.
It’s totally a thing.
*I am working in partnership with Mom.Life app. All opinion and observations about mom shaming are my own.
STOP MOM SHAMING
I have endured my fair share of mom shaming.
In fact a survey of 227 moms by Mom.life found:
- • 79.2% were shamed at some point.
- • 53.86% say it was frequent or rampant.
- • Feeding choice (63.73%) and parenting style (58.2%) were the most common reasons for criticism.
- • 67.23% of shamers were moms themselves.
- • 0.49% said the shaming actually changed their parenting beliefs.
We’ve all had this phrase directed at us before… “MY KID WOULD NEVER…”
Or, “I WOULD NEVER LET MYYYYYY CHILD…”
What are some things I’ve been shamed for?
I’ve been shamed for driving my kids to school instead of making them take the bus.
I’ve been shamed for making my kids take the bus.
I’ve been shamed for being a helicopter parent.
I’ve been shamed for letting my kids run “wild”.
I’ve been shamed for breast feeding.
I’ve been shamed for NOT breast feeding.
I’ve been shamed for being too focused on my kids’ sugar consumption.
I’ve been shamed for allowing soda.
Homeschooling.
NOT homeschooling
I’ve been shamed by strangers.
But worst of all, most of the shaming has come from other moms.
STOP MOM SHAMING
The worst of it was when my son (my first) was little. He was busy, busy, BUSY.
Read: some busy-body mamas thought I was raising a rebellious, destructive tyrant.
The reality: I was raising a BOY…. A very sweet, active, intense, creative, thinking, deeply feeling, beautiful, dynamic, wonderful, amazingly energetic little boy.
I was in the WRONG TRIBE.
And it breaks my heart because as amazing as he is now, he was just as amazing then. Those other moms missed out on a strong beam of sunshine… and their shaming distracted me from appreciating and fully enjoying that season with my son as well.
I wish moms who shame other moms could see they are not helping, but hurting… not only the mom, but the child too.
Did you catch the last bullet pint of that survey I shared?
- 0.49% said the shaming actually changed their parenting beliefs.
Thats ONE HALF OF A PERCENT.
Read: SHAMING DOESN’T WORK
The stress that I’d carry from feeling the pressure to be the mom some OTHER mom wanted me to be was so heavy. The shaming didn’t change the way I parented… it just made me angry. Or hurt. And that doesn’t make someone become a better mom.
It made me angry. And insecure. And paranoid. With so many standards to live by, there is no standard.
What HAS made me a better mom? It is the women who, despite my parenting imperfections, lift me up and help me discover the good mom inside me. They help me be the good mom I know MY kids need.
My son is 17 now. He is an amazing young man. He is kind. He is strong. He is compassionate. He is capable. He hugs me in public. He is stronger than me. Just the other day he said, “I want you to be careful and call me when you get home.”
MOMS. Trust your instincts. You know your child best. Weed out the shamers and craft your tribe. Don’t waste one more moment bending to the shame.
You know what? It’d be wonderful to hear from YOU! Share your OWN stories on video or share your #strongmom or #proudmom affirmation placard images on social media using the PDF download located HERE.
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