When I think back to what I dreamed of as a little girl… I wasn’t terribly creative.
College, marriage, children… dreams for a good, but “regular” life. OK, I also dreamed of being on Fame or Kids Incorporated, but…
With the exception of Fame and Kids Incorporated, my dreams really have come true — college, marriage, children…
But when I see a dead fly sprawled out on my dusty, dirty-sink-water-splattered window sill I think, “Dreams? Dead flies?… College, marriage, children. THIS is the dream?”
When I put on socks so I don’t have to feel the not clean-ness of my floor… when I find a Frito, a small marshmallow, and dried up piece of grated cheese in my coffee basket… I *blink*.
I cock my lead to the left. Then to the right… because it hurts to cock my head to the left.
Don’t even start me on aging issues.
Towels on the floor. Lost shoes and toothbrushes. A budget that suffocates at the right (or wrong) time of the month. A sprained ankle. Late nights and early mornings… Packaged food over fruits and veggies simply because it takes less time to open up a wrapper than to chop.
Processed foods were not in my dream. Bald tires. Dog hair on my couch — Not. Dream.
But… dare I say… I love this dream.
I don’t love the stress or the mess… but I really question whether this dream would be right, DREAMY, even.. without all the crap.
Yes, I wrote crap.
Every-so-often a person will tell me, “You live such an exciting life!” I think living online gives that appearance. And that is another post all in itself (remember those late nights I mentioned?… it’s not because I have newborns anymore…)
But when it all comes down… I really do believe I am living my dream…
Regardless of the dead flies on the sill…
or dirt on my floors…
Airing out my dirty laundry for all the world to see. On second thought, it IS a little exciting…
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