It’s almost time for BACK TO SCHOOL.
Therefore:
11 Tips for Mom to Prepare for Back to School!
Actually, some children in this country have been back to school for awhile now. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
Aaaanywho… I figure it might be sweet of me to share some helpful tips on preparing for back to school.
*ahem*
I am also taking notes because I have done nothing except print out the school supply list, cry about how much I am going to have to spend on back-to-schooling, aaaaand kick a few rocks.
11 Ways to Prepare for Back to School
#1) DON’T FREAK OUT. I was in a situation recently where I was in an elevator and it kinda broke down… by “broke down” I mean… IT DROPPED, maybe… a foot. Startling? Yes. Scary? Sure. But I had a half a glass of wine in my hand, so I felt I was in the best of worst situations.
But about freaking out — there was a woman in the elevator (a freight elevator, by the way) who DID start to freak out, and I started to freak out because she was freaking out… I wasn’t afraid of the elevator, friends. I was afraid of HER. I had to suppress my instinct to suppress her breathing. So… DON’T FREAK OUT. Our kids sense our fear and will use it against us. Stay sane. Stay safe. And remember to breathe.
#2) STOCK UP ON WINE. See: broken-down elevator scenario. When one is lost in a desert, one hopes to have a canteen of water. If one is preparing for back-to-school… think more along the lines of a canteen of wine. But not in your car. TO BE CLEAR.
#3) HINDSIGHT IS 20/20. Remember the 10.4 weeks you had between the last day of school and the first day of school??? You totally should have been buying reams of paper, erasers, tissue, protractors, and stashing pencils with each trip to the store. I should have been doing it too.
#4) GET CRACKIN’ ON THAT CALENDAR! Chances your kids’ school knows and has published their school hours, the early-release days, teacher work days, conference days, and even when Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is… so just go plug in all of those dates in your calendar right now. *makes another to-do on to-do list*
#5) LOOK AT YOUR CALENDAR DAILY. See: #4. I speak from experience. You think you’ll remember that one day the kids have no school… until take your kids to school and there is in fact… no school. This point has less to do with back-to-school than once we get into the routine. But… see: #3.
#6) HIDE THE SHOES. Maybe this only applies to me, but we have issues with shoes around here. I think it prudent to HIDE the first-day-of-school shoes from your kids until it is time to put on said shoes for first day pof school. Or you may end up like me last year and those sweet first-day-of-school shoes will be AWOL and there’s nothing like having to send your kid to school barefoot on the first day. On the other hand, one can only go up from there…
#7) DON’T HIDE THE SHOES SO WELL THAT YOU CANNOT FIND THEM. I feel this is important to note. This tip may or may not have to do with experience.
#8) JUST BUY THE CONFOUNDED COOKIE/ICE CREAM CARD. I rarely carry cash… at least not in denominations that ever make life easier. I see you, all wrapped up in your principles. You think you will stick to your guns and only let your kids take home-made cookies to school… C’mon. Just let the kid have a darn school cookie on Wednesdays. It’s not worth the weekly begging-for-cookies-eyes NOR the weekly, never-ending quest for exact change. And usually the funds go somewhere to help make the school a little better. It’s an investment to the betterment of the school.
#9) THE TEACHERS ARE MORE AFRAID OF YOU THAN YOU ARE AFRAID OF THEM. Actually, I have no idea if this is true, but that is what I tell myself to make ME feel less scared. Kind-of like that one strategy where you are supposed to imagine the other person in their underwear. Except NOT that.
I am not staying on track very well.
#10) BE PREPARED TO FEEL STRONG EMOTION. There are 2 types of moms… the ones who cry (me) and the ones who celebrate. The criers cry because we are saps and though it is wonderful that our children are growing up, a new school year triggers our aging ovaries… which are scientifically shown to be directly connected to our tear ducts. And despite all the trials of a summer at home, we are gluttons for punishment and forget that we really want them in school. And those moms who celebrate??? They totally make fun of us behind our backs.
#11) ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, WAKE THE KIDS UP A GOOD 15 to an infinity MINUTES EARLIER THAN YOU NORMALLY WOULD. For pictures. My kids always give me grief. But I always tell them in 15 years they will be thankful because their pictures will be fun to laugh at in 15 years. Since my kids like making fun of things, this is a strategy that works for us. Also, it’s totally worth the effort…
{First days of school… 2008 to 2011}
Do you have any tips/coping strategies for back-to-school season?
*Originally published August 2012
