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Speaking One’s Mind v. Just Being a Bully

I am not one to freely speak her mind. I am a people pleaser which means I have lived many, many years stuffing and hiding my opinion for the sake of minimizing uncomfortable situations for others. Related: I have a most excellent game face.

Speaking One’s Mind v. Just Being a Bully

There are times to keep one’s mouth closed and one’s opinion to oneself, and not speaking up in order to avoid an uncomfortable social situation is something I often do and I don’t think that is a proper way to relationship with others either…

BUT.

There is a balance. For example some folks use the phrase, “I’m just speaking my mind.” …. to justify bullying

Bullying isn’t only for the physically forceful.

And bullying doesn’t just happen in the teenage years.

Current politics and the use of social media is a perfect example. 

People are using their words in social media every day (though it’s not limited to social media). But with social media people are separated from seeing the face of the person they are expressing their own opinion on. To be clear: I am not saying folks can’t have their own opinion.

I’m just saying there is a difference between expressing an opinion and being a bully about it. The words, “I’m just speaking my mind” (or the like), aren’t an out. 

What I am saying is – HOW one’s own opinion is expressed is very important and while expressing one’s opinion is totally fine… GOOD, in fact… not all words should be said. And/or THE WAY words are said matter too.

Hitherhencetofore, there is a difference between sharing opinion and being a bully.

Or a jerk.

Or an a&*hole.

It’s not just in politics… it’s religion, and work ethic, and business relationships, and parenting… even in food choices.

Whether in a tweet reply, or Instagram comment, Facebook message, text messages… and face-to-face. This self-empowered movement of “doing what I have to do for me” and “I’m just speaking my mind” is giving valuable freedom to some, and breeding a whole bunch of self-empowered bullies on the other.

And I just don’t like it.

Period. 

don't be a bully

It’s not something that can be specifically described, but if you know what I’m talking about, then you know what I’m talking about. 

It’s a matter of compassion. Perhaps some verbal skill. Definitely a matter of not saying EVERYTHING on wants to say.

The thing is – It’s OK to not fully fulfill our wants! 

For example:

We can’t eat all we want.

We can’t drink all we want.

Aaaaand we just can’t say all we want.

It’s not about stuffing one’s feelings. It’s not about not fighting for what is right.

It’s about people. And relationships. And agreeing to disagree. 

There’s a difference between speaking one’s mind and shutting people down.

I believe one can speak one’s mind without being a bully. It doesn’t mean the people on the other side of the conversation agree, but there is a clear difference between the two when all is said and done.

And I just had to get that out. 

 

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