Confession: Best If Used By… and some words on homemade pie crust.

by | Dec 28, 2012 | Life | 5 comments

This is my confession… The label read, “Best if used by JUNE 2002

expired spice via @jennyonthespot
This is a bottle of ground cloves… that would have been best used TEN YEARS STINKING AGO.

IN MY DEFENSE:

  1. At least it wasn’t MEAT.
  2. That’s all I got.

I don’t make pumpkin pie every day, people!

Or every year, for that matter.

I mean, Costco kinda wins when it comes to the pumpkin pie baking competition.

Why reinvent the wheel when you can buy it already invented and BIG.

But I’ve been getting back to my domestic roots, and let’s face it folks – PUMPKIN PIE FROM A CAN ISN’T HARD.

And, to make matters easier — I don’t make my own crust.

EVER.

I know my strengths and weaknesses. I choose to put energy into developing my strengths.

Homemade pie crust is not one of my personal strengths.

When people use the idiom, “That was easy as PIE!”, I assume they are talking about pie with crust they purchased from their grocer’s freezer section.

Because – DUH.

Adding a homemade crust into the equation of pie is the equivalent of slautering your own cow when it comes to making a hamburger.

Just sayin’.

I don’t slaughter cows and I don’t make homemade pie crust.

So there.

But about that pumpkin pie I made for Christmas dessert…

Expired ground cloves aside

I forgot to add the sugar.

Which wasn’t realized until I FINALLY got a good bite of my pumpkin pie when it was unaccompanied by a big ol’ bite of whipped cream.

OH, and of course all the children…

“OH! ICK!”

“UUUUGH WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PIE?!”

“YUUUUUUUCK!”

Good thing we had back-up:

chocolate pie, pumpkin pie, banana pie via @jennyonthespot
A couple other holiday pie faves around here are Marie Calendar’s Satin Cream Pie *I die*, and banana cream… by banana “cream” I mean “graham cracker crust, bananas, vanilla pudding, and Cool Whip”.

When I say, “easy as pie”, I am talking about our banana cream pie.

And to be clear: that graham cracker pie crust? I BOUGHT.

I’m not kidding. Why fret over pie crusts when you can be busy forgetting to add sugar to your pie and keeping spices 10 years too long?

So much to lower the bar on, so little time…

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