It’s 10:30 and I’m punching-out finely crafting this-here post.
You see, my friend Janice over there at 5 Minutes for Mom…
This is We.
She lovingly, professionally, flatteringlyly, and beautifully published How to Become a (Blogging) Star….
And I realized, “GAH! What if her people click over and the first post that greets them is the one about my funk?! And I’m not talking Funky Town funk… I want my new friends to find something SPARKLY!”
*scratches arm*
*scratches leg*
*scratches elbow*
Well new friends… I have a little problem.
I think my youngest may have brought a POX into our home.
A pox of the chicken variety.
But I don’t know for sure. The bumps surfaced on my eczema-prone daughter’s skin a couple of hours ago.
Definitely NOT eczema-ish, but the last time I looked at the Chicken Poxies I was knee high to a person with knees.
So. Here I sit. Scratching. Not unlike when one hears lice is going around at the elementary school.
Itching.
Itching.
Dr. Google is a filthy man, FYI.
So… I went on the Facebook. I shared my potential dilemma. My friend linked to a pic she took when one of her kids had The Poxies.
Ah geeze.
Hitherhencetofore, I headed into Lucy’s room. Flipped on the lights. Tore off her covers and took a flashlight to her torso.
Maybe in the morning…
*scratch scratch scratch*
So.
New friends.
Hi.
My name is Jenny. I am in my late-to-vibrant 30’s and I am given over to the power of suggestion.
*scratch scratch scratch*
YOU KNOW WHAT?!
I noticed a pimple on my clavicle today.
WHAT IF IT’S NOT A PIMPLE???!!!
I’m sorry. I should be a better hostess. Pimples and poxes… I am so rude.
*scratch scratch*
Usually, I like to offer coffee, but I kind a feel like maybe I should pour you a handful of calamine lotion? Perhaps a scoop of warm oatmeal?
OHMYSTINKIN’HECKICANNOTSTOPITCHING!!!! FORTHELOVEOF….
*eep*
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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…
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