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Not getting the trash out on Trash Day.

I don’t even have feathers, but if you ever want to see a on-feathered person get ruffled feathers… come over on a missed trash day. IT MAKES ME CRAZEEEE TO MISS TRASH DAY!!!

Those people on Facebook who…

post a status update and then write their name at the end of the post. We’ve all seen Facebook… we all know that anytime an individual posts something, their full name and picture post right there too. Let’s recap: when posting FB automatically provides the posters’ name, aaaaand THEIR PROFILE PICTURE. And then that person adds their name at the end of something that already links to them AND shows their photo. Department of Redundancy Department, much? “Hey. I’m just pretty rad/tired/hungry. Thought I’d tell you. Later, Pacheco”

IT’S NOT A LETTER. IT’S FACEBOOK. Furthermore, based on scientific research *ahem*… it has been shown these people usually can’t spell, use capitalization nor utilize their punctuation keys… “Hey im just prettty/rad/tired/hungary thot i wld tell u. ltr, Pacheco”

If I ever wanted to pull an ear and give somebody an eraser.

*Please note: I used the name Pacheco because it is one of the only names I am not friends with. I think. I do not want to incriminate the guilty. That’s not true. I would love to. But I won’t. I’m all passive aggressive like that.

Being in line…

then having an employee shift the ONE long-ish line into 2 lines (or 3 or 4). Hitherandthus giving the appearance of potential checking-out speed. But then… THEN… everyone who had been behind you – and a few who weren’t behind you (but would have been had one line been kept in-tact) get checked out before you… because the 2 people in front of you in your new line are both looking to clothe an army (a very fashionable one), move in slow motion and also write checks. I didn’t even know that checks were legal tender anymore.

Text errors in my published videos…

I drive myself CRAZY when I publish a video to YouTube and THEN finally see text errors in my video. GAR!

Denim on denim…

Just… no. No. NO. Matching or no matching… it is all equally horrible. No denim jackets or shirts with jeans. Don’t. Stop it. And for the love of my eyes, not denim shirts with yo jeans. Please.

People lacking a sense of urgency…

They are emotionally excruciating. Can’t. Deal. I don’t understand people who dawdle. This makes my relationship with my children a bit more complex.

The little waist ties on sweat pants…

Where are you supposed to put them? I don’t wear short shirts, so I always struggle with the “waist-tie bump” under my shirt… OR I struggle to strategically tuck them (read: keep them tucked) behind the waist band. But THEN… sometimes it is too hard to tie them in a nifty bow, so you tie it in a knot because there needs to be a point of tension or them sweatpants just won’t stay up… even if they’re tight.

There’s more. So. When those whispy little ties are in a simple knot, it is not so easy to untie the knotted rascal when one is in a “pinch”… like, say — when a girl has got to use the restroom! Yeah! I don’t know about anybody else, but whens (I know “when” doesn’t have an “s” — EVER, but just pretend the “s” is a written way of me using my arms… body-language in type-form, if you will) I decide to take the time to answer nature’s call… the last thing I need is to fight with a stubborn knot. And that makes me feel angry.

Furthermore… I am an adult woman, and while it might be somewhat “acceptable” for a 3-year-old to “not make it”… not so much for an adult woman. “I PEED!!!” sounds so much different coming from the mouth of a toddler than it does from and adult. Not to mention sheer quantity. TMI?

Blogs without RSS feeds…

How can that even happen?

“You don’t even know/You have no idea…”

Don’t I? You don’t even know if I do know or not. I probably really don’t, but you don’t even know… now do you?

“Be true to yourself”…

Huh? Isn’t that what humans do by default? Me, me, me… It gets on my nerve. Yes, I really do only have 1 nerve. That’s why I have a pet peeve page. I digress. In my opinion, most folks really don’t struggle with putting themselves first, so why do people need to remind each other to do something they are already doing?

People who…

get in the right-hand lane to go straight. If there is a left-er lane, just go there so I can turn right on the red. I am always in a hurry. Please don’t slow me down. I know you may have a valid reason for choosing that lane, but don’t you understand my valid reason trumps yours??? OK, not really, but really, but not… but really…

The overuse of pronouns…

I don’t think she likes to go to her house because she said she didn’t like the way she said she….

Eating while on the phone…

When I hear someone munching on the other end – it gives me the willies. The sound of the chewing is reminiscent of millworms working over a bowl of rice crispies.

Acne…

Not your pimples… my pimples. I served my time during my teen years! It really irks me to be sincerely excited and interested in the new acne products some cute little teenie-bopeer is “pimp”ing for some oxy-this or oxy-that commercial.

Chain letters, chain emails…

Responding to one is like treating a rash with a Brillo pad – it just makes it all worse. Answer one, then 12 other people will think you’re “into the chain thang” and then you get 12 more, and you have to send 12 more… Stop the insanity! Just Say No To Chain Mail. If not for me, then please, just do it for the children…. Now, send this to 12 people within the next 6 hours, and if you do not – you will be stricken with halitosis and you will never again win a tickle fight.

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Jenny On the Spot! @jennyonthespot

Peace and Sparkles!

Jenny

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