Caught on Video: 3 moms sound-off on children and sleepovers

This is almost a post script to my original post about sleepovers.

My post was also featured on BlogHer not too long ago.

And whoa. There are some strong opinions on this. WHOA.

As there should be. We are talking about the best interest of children…

In this video Liz Henry and Amanda Rodriguez, and I discuss when we decided their kids are ready for sleepovers, and why it can be a tough subject for parents.

I’ve seen commentary in some spaces have suggested I think other parents are bad if they allow sleepovers.

Or that I parent by fear.

Uh, NO.

I allow my kids to sleepover and I allow them at my home.

I just have rules.

Rules. Fear… not the same.

I am perhaps more cautious than some… but less cautious than some.

GO FIGURE.

After watching this video with Liz and Amanda… it seems all 3 of us are cautious in our own ways. We differ when it comes to the fine points of why or why not or how soon, etc… But a common theme I heard was that each of us care about our kids, and really, we are all on the same page about how we feel about the idea of our kids staying the night at just anyone’s house.

I want to add… I trust my judgement, and I trust my kids. I don’t trust people I hardly know to keep my kids overnight, and I don’t want to test my kid’s trustworthiness with people I don’t know, or people I hardly know. My kids get plenty of opportunities to be trusted outside of sleepover dates.

And for those who feel this is a personal attack on their parenting. Stop it. If you choose different than me, I do not think you are a bad parent and I do not think I am better. I may not choose what you choose and you may not choose what I choose. I do, however, believe the topic of sleeping over warrants thought and consideration… I will say if a parent has never met the parent(s) of the home one’s kid is sleeping over at… in this case, I would question sound judgement.

Lastly, this not about living in fear. Caution is not fear.

Besides, we have a trampoline. We know how to have fun with a side of danger.

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5 Responses to “Caught on Video: 3 moms sound-off on children and sleepovers”

  1. Hi Jenny! Love your blog and glad to have found it. I love your thoughts on this and think it’s a great discussion to open up. As parents, we are our children’s protection and must not ever let our guard down. Thanks for thought provoking AND super fun posts. 🙂 Happy Weekend!!

  2. Michelle W says:

    Well done, Jenny. As always you spoke eloquently about your opinion. I am with you on sleepovers. You can never really be sure what your kids will be exposed to when they are there overnight.

  3. kerry says:

    Hey Jenny, cool video!

    My 2 eldest both had sleepovers last night – we had one child here, and my eldest went off to her best friend. I don’t allow sleepovers often, and if we do, we always make sure they go to families we know really well, and who have the same understanding on sleepovers as us! We have rules, but my kids know that if they don’t want to stick by the rules then there will be no sleepovers at all. I hear all too often about kids that have been affected by things that happened at sleepovers, and sometimes it’s happened without the other parents even knowing about it, which I know is out of their control, but hey, I don’t take chances where my kids are concerned. Like they say, you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Some people may view this as wrapping my kids up in cotton wool, but they’re my kids, so I get to choose right?

    ps…. We have bikes and scooters… we do danger 🙂 xx

  4. lyndsey says:

    well said, lady! per usual.

  5. Wow, I’m glad to have stumbled onto your blog and this entry in particular today. Our 12 year-old son went to his first-ever sleepover a couple of weeks ago. As two very tired parents with NO family living nearby, we were so grateful for a “night off”. Or at least, that’s how I felt to start with. The parents were nice, the house was nice, I didn’t have any real concerns.

    And then we reciprocated the following weekend. That’s when I learned that my son’s friend gets to play M-rated video games (uh, not at MY house, and my boy is NOT going to play them at yours!), doesn’t have a bedtime in the summer AT ALL, and is home alone most days by himself while his parents work. This kid tried using our computer to look up adult sites (thank goodness our Net Nanny blocked them) and wanted my son to sneak a bottle of bourbon out of our liquor cabinet. (My boy came to me and asked me to lock the thing up so he didn’t have to keep an eye on his friend.)

    We don’t do sleepovers anymore. It’s not just because I don’t want my son going into situations where the supervision/boundaries are more lax than I’m comfortable with; I also don’t want little miscreants coming into my home.

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